Sunday 7 June 2015

Sports Day, Stimming and Sensory Overload

As you may have already guessed from the title, I attended the Soulful One's Sports Day on Friday - definitely a step in the right direction after my non-attendance last year. Please, don't get me wrong; I'd love nothing more than to be cheering alongside every other parent for all his events, but some things are, or seem, insurmountable some days - and sometimes the little victories are the ones that mean the most. 




So, after a hectic morning spent bouncing around the house like a loose firework, the Space Cowboy and I dropped off the small ones at their respective classes and joined the other parents on the school field.

At first, I began to panic as I thought I may not recognise him among the hundreds of children on the field and that we'd miss his first race, but, as usual, SC came to the rescue and spotted him almost straight away - with the Soulful One spotting us a few moments later, breaking away from his team and running over to give me a hug. I'm so, so glad I didn't miss this. 



The first race was a difficult one for him - it involved skipping (rope) back and forth from point A to B, then (making things even more difficult) he was to pass the rope to the child behind him, then take it again when their run was over. Both his gross motor skills and fine motor skills are fairly weak, so he struggled along for most of his turns - almost getting it on his last run. The important thing here is: He kept trying, despite the child he was swapping rope with telling him repeatedly to "just run instead", he tried his bloody hardest and I'm not ashamed to say I was the most vocal parent there in that moment :) I'm so incredibly proud of him!



He continued to try his very best in the next race, and the next, but by that point he was tiring out fast and started to lose concentration, wandering outside the team and spinning in circles, aimlessly walking and, once it was time to change activity again, the chewing started up too. I can't say I blamed him - the noise, bright sun light, oodles of people both miniature and full size stood in groups everywhere you looked and constant change of activity was wearing on me too, and watching my little guy start to lose himself kicked off emotional reactions too. 



By the next race, he was struggling to follow direction and had started chewing and fidgeting near his mouth - something he does when he's tired or stressed. After a bit of confusion, he got back in line for the next activity and took a shot throwing a bean at hoops a foot or so ahead of him - he missed on his first go, but on his second managed to get it in and bagged his team two points! He was so made up, he came for another hug!


Quick photo-op with two of my favourite boys.


Unfortunately we had to leave during his next race as his younger brother had speech therapy half way through the activities (I believe they call that "sod's law") and even more unfortunately, his concentration and behaviour disintegrated even further after we left, leading to refusals, panic and meltdowns. Other parents may have watched him, some sadly with understanding, some in shock and some, quite likely, muttering how "they'd straighten him out" and other such things. Some may have looked away. Those reactions aren't really important, but they're a regular occurrence when out in public with the Soulful One, so they're notable nonetheless. They're not important because I know without a doubt (and he does too) that he tried his best in both the activities themselves and in keeping himself composed for so long in such a new, stressful environment. He's my little champion. 





By the time I picked him up at hometime, he'd settled down into a calmer mood, was fairly bright and happy if a little worn out. We tried to keep the rest of the afternoon and evening as calm as possible - quite a difficult feat with five children aged 6 and under bouncing around the living room for three and a half hours. He had fun playing with the boys but by 6 o'clock he was covering his ears to block out the noise of the Space Cowboy's game.



I took him to one side and asked if he'd like to go into the spare room for some alone time with the tablet and he nodded quietly; so, after getting changed into his favourite PJs,  that's how he spent the rest of his Friday evening:




For about 3 hours, until we finally went in to ask him to get into bed for a night-time movie night with the Feral One (they recently began sharing their bedroom again after almost a year apart - needless to say they're overjoyed :)), he sat crouched in the same position playing his Moshi Monsters game in silence. It may seem odd to some, but this really is the best way we've found to help him de-stress after a taxing day. He needs solitude and the activities on his tablet keep his mind and hands occupied while he's so tense, which helps reduce the amount of anxious lip chewing/sleeve chewing that tend to occur when he sits and worries with nothing else to think about except the things that've gone wrong that day, or what could go wrong tomorrow. It helps him zone out of the world that causes him so much aggravation and sensory hell. Bottom line - it helps.

Here he is with his little brother before bed, mildly irritated with me because I'm insisting on taking a picture while he's trying to watch King of the Railway: